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Showing posts with label Toyota. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Toyota. Show all posts

Saturday, September 8, 2012

The Best Mud Driving Story Ever: Monroe Mountain

My brother, Rob, is up in the mountains in Arizona right now and it has been very rainy so I've been hearing about how difficult driving in the mud is for them at their property.  This reminded me of my best mud driving story ever.

My son Adam, the oldest by 4 minutes, was visiting me in the year 2000 when I lived in Monroe, a small town in central Utah.  He was on leave from the US Navy.  My property was right at the base of Monroe Mountain. We had been cooped up in the house for several days because of heavy rains.  Finally a blue day dawned and Adam talked me into going for a drive.

He took the wheel and was driving my 1988 Toyota Corolla, 5 speed standard transmission, front wheel drive hatchback.  I was riding shotgun.  He headed up the paved road to the mountain.  We should have been alerted or alarmed by mud washing across the pavement in places.but apparently we didn't notice.

Now - you need to realize that the Corolla, with either Adam or his twin brother Matt, driving, carried with it a subversive, secretive "Fight Club"like reputation that included phrases such as "it jumped from..." and "we four wheeled..." spoken in a whisper anytime I was around and included at a minimum, three wide eyed cousins who had seen their short preteen lives flash before their eyes when they "ran to the store" in the Corolla with their older, daring, teenage cousins, Adam and/or Matt.

So Adam heads up the mountain where the pavement soon ends.  We slogged our way through two switchbacks carved into the side of mountain.  The road surface was a 12 inch deep, soggy, slippery clay.  In an attempt to lighten the load, when it became clear that forward progress was stopped, he ordered me out of the car onto the muddy road to see if that would help.  It did not help and only succeeded in covering my then 32 hour old pair of white, leather Adidas sneakers with said mud.  I got back in the car, bringing with me 9 pounds of wet clay, and we sat there for a few minutes.  I went on and on about how we needed to get out and walk down while it was still light so we could call fro a ride and an unlikely tow.

Blah, blah, blah, BLAH is I'm sure what Adam heard - like Charlie Brown's mother's voice - yeah just like that..

Suddenly he says, "Mom!  Hold on!" which I think means he wants me to stop talking but that he means literally and he instantly starts back down the mountainside road as fast as the car will go in reverse.  I don't know what I said but I'm sure there was some kind of protest.  He reached the upper switchback and did some crazy, ass, double clutch, shifting kind of nonsense and some-freakin-how spins the car 180 degrees so we were now pointed downhill.  Then he calmly shifted into first gear and drives back down the slippery mountain road.

Back on the pavement I yelled at him the rest of the way home about how absolutely fucking, stupid and dangerous that was.  It was just a miracle that we didn't slide into or slide off the side of the mountain.  But inside I'm like "Daham! Now that's badass driving!"  He didn't stop grinning the whole rest of the visit.

Here's a picture of a 1988 Toyota Corolla.  Mine was white with "Toyota" stenciled in large, blue letters on each side.


And here is Adam driving.  He was out of the Navy when this picture was taken.  I don't think he would have been sporting those sideburns while enlisted.
 
 
Peace be with you and all that jazz.
 
 
 
Copyright - (c) - Chardale Irvine - 2012.  All rights reserved.  This article may not be republshed or reprinted without the express, written consent of Chardale Irvine.  Thank you.
 

Monday, April 16, 2012

No Mom...It is NOT a Touchscreen

When I was traveling in February and March I stayed with my daughter Kaycee for the Colorado portions of the trip.  Kaycee is taking a couple of online college courses and was working on homework every night I was there - very dedicated she was.

One of the last evenings I was there we were sitting on the sofa.  I was watching TV and she was working on her PC laptop on a paper for one of her classes.  She asked me to proof something for her on her paper and handed me the laptop.

I immediately reached up and started to drag my finger on the screen rather than using the keyboard. Uh, I have apparently been ruined by my Iphone, which I have only had since January, but now apparently I assume every computer screen is going to being touchscreen.  I should be able to tap it twice to make the text larger, and again twice to make it go smaller.



There are some other automatic assumptions I make now that don't always end well:

Keyless remote on my automobile - Really, the most annoying part about my whole trip was always fumbling around to find the keys.  The Kia Soul did not have a keyless remote...you actually had to put the key in the door and in the ignition - such a nuisance!  This is my Prius key.  It never comes out of my purse.



Sensored toilet flushes - I know I have walked out of many stalls without even thinking about turning around and flushing the toilet because I am so used to them flushing automatically.  My sincere apologies to the women who use the stall after me.

Sensored water faucets - I don't think I've ever been in a house or RV with sensored water faucets, yet I still find myself waving my hands underneath the faucets waiting for the water to start flowing. I have caught myself doing this in my bathroom in the RV, but that isn't so bad because noone sees me do it - standing there waving my hands, mindlessly, under the faucet. In public, though, it is another deal.

Sensored paper towel dispenser - I have a problem with these in general because I think I have invisible hands or something.  I always have to "Wave My Hands Under Dispenser" a little longer than should be necessary - and this is the embarrassing part - I can rarely do this without talking to the dispenser.  Usually I am swearing at the dispenser.  I do this without even noticing because it is such a common problem for me.  This is a link to a funny site with a cute cartoon about waving your hands under the towel dispenser.
http://memebase.com/2011/04/19/memes-master-towels/

The Phone Book - Yes we have one.  One from Bend, Oregon; one from Las Vegas, NV; one from Dallas/Fort Worth, TX and now one for the greater Orlando, FL area.  I have never cracked the spine on any of these books and at the moment could not tell you where they are in the RV unless Walt threw them away without telling me - something I hope actually happened.

GPS Navigation - Even though we have it in our car we still have to stop and buy maps - yes people, MAPS.  They do still publish maps.  My atlas is one of my favorite books but rarely gets used in real life.  We have the Toyota navigation product in our Prius and it is definitely substandard.UnUn  Oftentimes, we will use the navigation apps on our smartphones concurrently, just to make sure we don't miss a turn. 

Starbucks on every corner - This one is actually fading because Starbucks in central Florida are few and far between, but prior to coming here I would be totally annoyed if there wasn't a Starbucks within a couple of miles whenever I got the urge for a cup of coffee. I do have to actually resort to buying my iced coffee from McDonald's now.  I have sunk so low.

These are just a few things that come to mind.  If you have some other ones that you think of or take for granted post in the comments.  I would love to hear if anyone else has these same issues.


Copyright (c) - 2012 - Chardale Irvine.  All rights reserved.  You may not publish or reprint this article without permission of Chardale Irvine.