Putting Music To My Anger

Leave it to my deep subconscious to pick a song, and I love to sing, to attach the feelings to from my struggles with my health due to the neuro immune illness MEcfs and my son Adam Mackley's struggle to get his legal paternity recognized in Utah to get my granddaughter Cadance back, that has notes I will NEVER be able to hit.  (The was the world's longest sentence EVER)

Starting mid December of 2013, while very ill and destroyed from a trip I made to Utah to help ensure Adam's case could be appealed, this randomly selected song would bring me from a deep sleep and wake me with an ever louder shout of 'Natalie'. I would be hearing 'Natalie' screamed in rage by Bruno Mars from the inside out. It wouldn't stop til I got up and badly sang some bars & danced a bit of a jig. I know it's a fanciful fantasy but I imagine myself to be dancing just as energetically and rhythmically as his backup and band. (Hey! It's the ME version of dancing so back up there;)

Here's the YouTube video of my favorite performance of Bruno Mars performing 'Natalie'.

http://youtu.be/tZJ_Q20bOv0

The truth is I would put my rage about my illness and the horrific neglect and treatment by the medical profession, governments and society I've received, to this music if I could! And my nog on advocacy for the rights of birth fathers. There's a selfish piece there: that's my granddaughter Cadance they stole. I want and long for her to get back to us before my illness takes me out. 

Putting rage to music. Awesome.

Oops! My format isn't right. Check back!
ME Audio To Natalie 9.14.m4a

So my technology challenges are keeping you from hearing my badly sung version I've retitled simple: M.E. It might be a gift actually:)

As I listened to the song today I keyed in on the ominous percussion and angry voice - so angry that when you sing about what you would do if you got your hands on the source of your anger the only way you can describe what you would do is sing 'Woooo' in a high pitch. And it's funny because that is the one hard note I CAN hit.

So I will keep listening to this song until it's work is done. And thank you Bruno Mars. 

PS. If this post seems familiar it's because I've written about this before. So now....it will either seem like I'm further along in my journey to express my anger in a healthy way or I will be seen as obsessed with Bruno Mars. We will see how this goes;)

Peace be with you and all that jazz!

Copyright (c) Chardale Irvine - 2014. All rights reserved. 

Grandmother With Terminal Illness Fears She May Never See GranddaughterAgain

Grandmother With Terminal Illness Fears She May Never See Granddaughter, Cadance, Again

A Florida grandmother, who is in endstage ME (Myalgicdt Encephelomyelitis), is on a pilgrimage back to the mountain states where she was raised and where she raised her own children. Chardale Irvine, or Grandma Char as she's known to her grandkids is back to see and connect with her 7 grandchildren and their parents. As of now she's seen all 6 boys, ages 11 weeks to age 13 but the visit with her granddaughter may not happen in time.

Her almost 3 year old granddaughter, Cadance Barney, has been withheld from Mrs Irvine's son, Adam Mackley, for over 18 months. She was taken at age 14 months with the support of a corrupt Utah Family Law Court system and Cadance's mother's family, who are apparently willing to invest any amount of money to make sure Cadance's biological father is not a part of her life.

This is what they weren't prepared for: Cadance's biological father, Adam Mackley, who has made monumental efforts to demonstrate that he has the full intention and desire to be in his daughter's life, will not stop fighting to be able to function as Cadance's father again. Why would a father go to such lengths? Because he doesn't want Cadance to ever think she's not loved or worth fighting for. Because in those 14 months with her a permanent bond formed, as it only can with fathers and their children.  That bond over these last 18 months represents an open and deep wound that can't be healed for him until he gets his daughter back. And Mrs Irvine has tried to support him in every way she can though her progressing illness has severely impeded that. 

The truth is Adam has had legal problems but in America even people in prison are allowed visitation with their children. This is largely because studies have shown that when children are able to have a relationship with their biological father, regardless of the father's circumstances, it helps the child immensely. Direct results show male children grow up with fewer legal challenges and female children have a much lower percentage of promiscuity and better self-esteem if they have access to their father.

Cadance was born with significant birth defects in her hips and legs. She had her left foot amputated by doctors at Shriners Hospital in Salt Lake City at 10 months to prepare to receive a prosthesis. Adam did the first three days of her post op care at his home and brought her to Shriners for her post op follow up. 

Cadance had just received her prosthesis one week prior to visitation being denied and was cruising along furniture immediately. She took her first steps two weeks after the last time we saw her.

With little medical acknowledgement of her own illness until very recently, Mrs. Irvine's health has significantly deteriorated. As the illness continues to cause irreversible brain damage, she fears Cadance may never know who her Grandma Char is and this walkabout to bond with her grandkids before it is too late holds an open and gaping void with no way, thus far, to see Cadance.

What would Grandma Char want Cadance to know? That she is loved beyond measure by a whole family, some of whom she has met and many more that she hasn't yet met. That her dad and her grandma will not give up in their efforts to bring her back to this family. That Cadance comes from a family of courageous, adventurous and creative travelers, whose people are beautiful, strong, creative and intelligent.

This little girl, who looks just like her dad, who looks just like his mom (and twin brother), who looks just like her dad, has a place set at our table and in our hearts. This family wants her to know that it doesn't matter how long we are kept away or how far away we are in miles, she is a part of our family.

But Grandma Char worries. Will the corrupt Utah family law system and efforts to illegally sever emotional bonds hurt Cadance? Has it already hurt her?She fears that if Cadance has even 1/100th of the pain her dad and grandma have due to this separation, then it is too much. This little girl with all of her physical challenges will only benefit from more people to inspire her, encourage her and help her find her way.

So Grandma Char continues her pilgrimage to see family in the mountain states with the sacred hope that a miracle will happen for her to see and bond some more with Cadance.

Thomas Patton: Still the most horrific UT court officer

I won't post a lot. A lot has been said on this blog about how Mr.Patton single-handedly staged the kidnapping of my granddaughter Cadance Belle Barney and then his actions were pencil whipped by a judge that sent the cases right into State Appeals court, which is where it is now. It is awesome that my son Adam Mackley has been able to keep the cases afloat against all odds but daunting in that he still has no lawyer defending him. But he fights on until the last possible breath and I have his back 100%.

What this post is about is some pondering that I have been doing. Why is my Thomas Patton post my most heavily viewed post on my blog? Why is his name the most common search word for hits and why, mostly why, do I keep getting story after story how he's ruined family's lives by his nonsensical and cruel decisions? How is this man still allowed to oversee family law cases?

Take note Mr Patton: I miss all of my grandchildren who I see little of due to health but the ache that is caused from that beautiful little girl taken from her dad, her brother, her great aunt, her cousins, her great grandpa, will not heal until we get her back.

And that you are DAILY allowed to AGAIN and AGAIN wreak that brutal havoc on the lives of children is CRIMINAL.

And to all you judges and attorneys that participated in the extortion ring your actions are not only criminal but lazy AND abusive. Your ethics are atrocious.

For others facing Mr Patton or those who have please message me a gypsyabf @ gmail dot com

Maybe as a common voice our kids have a chance.

Btw it is possible to leave an anonymous comment on my blog and if you favorite me you'll get an update with new posts. I'm not a robo poster so you went get tons of notifications from me.

God/Spirit/Universe bless you all and an extra blessing to those stolen children and their grieving hearts and grieving parents.

#4Cadence #NavyVetDad @AdamMackleyUT #EqualParenting #CivilrightofUnmarriedmen #HoldingThomasPattomAccountable

#4Cadance THIS is what Thomas Patton, Judge Davis & Judge McDade stole from this little girl.