Putting Music To My Anger

Leave it to my deep subconscious to pick a song, and I love to sing, to attach the feelings to from my struggles with my health due to the neuro immune illness MEcfs and my son Adam Mackley's struggle to get his legal paternity recognized in Utah to get my granddaughter Cadance back, that has notes I will NEVER be able to hit.  (The was the world's longest sentence EVER)

Starting mid December of 2013, while very ill and destroyed from a trip I made to Utah to help ensure Adam's case could be appealed, this randomly selected song would bring me from a deep sleep and wake me with an ever louder shout of 'Natalie'. I would be hearing 'Natalie' screamed in rage by Bruno Mars from the inside out. It wouldn't stop til I got up and badly sang some bars & danced a bit of a jig. I know it's a fanciful fantasy but I imagine myself to be dancing just as energetically and rhythmically as his backup and band. (Hey! It's the ME version of dancing so back up there;)

Here's the YouTube video of my favorite performance of Bruno Mars performing 'Natalie'.

http://youtu.be/tZJ_Q20bOv0

The truth is I would put my rage about my illness and the horrific neglect and treatment by the medical profession, governments and society I've received, to this music if I could! And my nog on advocacy for the rights of birth fathers. There's a selfish piece there: that's my granddaughter Cadance they stole. I want and long for her to get back to us before my illness takes me out. 

Putting rage to music. Awesome.

Oops! My format isn't right. Check back!
ME Audio To Natalie 9.14.m4a

So my technology challenges are keeping you from hearing my badly sung version I've retitled simple: M.E. It might be a gift actually:)

As I listened to the song today I keyed in on the ominous percussion and angry voice - so angry that when you sing about what you would do if you got your hands on the source of your anger the only way you can describe what you would do is sing 'Woooo' in a high pitch. And it's funny because that is the one hard note I CAN hit.

So I will keep listening to this song until it's work is done. And thank you Bruno Mars. 

PS. If this post seems familiar it's because I've written about this before. So now....it will either seem like I'm further along in my journey to express my anger in a healthy way or I will be seen as obsessed with Bruno Mars. We will see how this goes;)

Peace be with you and all that jazz!

Copyright (c) Chardale Irvine - 2014. All rights reserved. 

Grandmother With Terminal Illness Fears She May Never See GranddaughterAgain

Grandmother With Terminal Illness Fears She May Never See Granddaughter, Cadance, Again

A Florida grandmother, who is in endstage ME (Myalgicdt Encephelomyelitis), is on a pilgrimage back to the mountain states where she was raised and where she raised her own children. Chardale Irvine, or Grandma Char as she's known to her grandkids is back to see and connect with her 7 grandchildren and their parents. As of now she's seen all 6 boys, ages 11 weeks to age 13 but the visit with her granddaughter may not happen in time.

Her almost 3 year old granddaughter, Cadance Barney, has been withheld from Mrs Irvine's son, Adam Mackley, for over 18 months. She was taken at age 14 months with the support of a corrupt Utah Family Law Court system and Cadance's mother's family, who are apparently willing to invest any amount of money to make sure Cadance's biological father is not a part of her life.

This is what they weren't prepared for: Cadance's biological father, Adam Mackley, who has made monumental efforts to demonstrate that he has the full intention and desire to be in his daughter's life, will not stop fighting to be able to function as Cadance's father again. Why would a father go to such lengths? Because he doesn't want Cadance to ever think she's not loved or worth fighting for. Because in those 14 months with her a permanent bond formed, as it only can with fathers and their children.  That bond over these last 18 months represents an open and deep wound that can't be healed for him until he gets his daughter back. And Mrs Irvine has tried to support him in every way she can though her progressing illness has severely impeded that. 

The truth is Adam has had legal problems but in America even people in prison are allowed visitation with their children. This is largely because studies have shown that when children are able to have a relationship with their biological father, regardless of the father's circumstances, it helps the child immensely. Direct results show male children grow up with fewer legal challenges and female children have a much lower percentage of promiscuity and better self-esteem if they have access to their father.

Cadance was born with significant birth defects in her hips and legs. She had her left foot amputated by doctors at Shriners Hospital in Salt Lake City at 10 months to prepare to receive a prosthesis. Adam did the first three days of her post op care at his home and brought her to Shriners for her post op follow up. 

Cadance had just received her prosthesis one week prior to visitation being denied and was cruising along furniture immediately. She took her first steps two weeks after the last time we saw her.

With little medical acknowledgement of her own illness until very recently, Mrs. Irvine's health has significantly deteriorated. As the illness continues to cause irreversible brain damage, she fears Cadance may never know who her Grandma Char is and this walkabout to bond with her grandkids before it is too late holds an open and gaping void with no way, thus far, to see Cadance.

What would Grandma Char want Cadance to know? That she is loved beyond measure by a whole family, some of whom she has met and many more that she hasn't yet met. That her dad and her grandma will not give up in their efforts to bring her back to this family. That Cadance comes from a family of courageous, adventurous and creative travelers, whose people are beautiful, strong, creative and intelligent.

This little girl, who looks just like her dad, who looks just like his mom (and twin brother), who looks just like her dad, has a place set at our table and in our hearts. This family wants her to know that it doesn't matter how long we are kept away or how far away we are in miles, she is a part of our family.

But Grandma Char worries. Will the corrupt Utah family law system and efforts to illegally sever emotional bonds hurt Cadance? Has it already hurt her?She fears that if Cadance has even 1/100th of the pain her dad and grandma have due to this separation, then it is too much. This little girl with all of her physical challenges will only benefit from more people to inspire her, encourage her and help her find her way.

So Grandma Char continues her pilgrimage to see family in the mountain states with the sacred hope that a miracle will happen for her to see and bond some more with Cadance.

Update! Cadence Card Crusade Still Needs You!!

10/22/2014- Update and news flash! Sadly we are approaching another birthday without Cadance. She will be turning 3 on 10/31/2014. Yep, her birthday is on Halloween. Please help us let her know that we love her and can't wait to see her again. It's now been over a year and a half since she's seen her daddy Adam Mackley. The case is being prepared for the Utah Supreme Court. Please join our Facebook page: Cadence's Turn

And get details of Adam's progress with the corrupt Utah court system at

Givecadenceavoice.info

Adam can use your support and prayers. 

/22/2013 Update and News Flash:  Just 1 week until Cadence turns 2 on Halloween!!!  When you're out buying candy and costumes for those little ghosts and goblins, pick up 4 birthday cards and drop them in the mail.

Can we move mountains with love? YES WE CAN!  And we ARE! I'm hearing gentle rumblings from all over the country and even a few places around the world that tell me the Cadence Card Crusade is steamrolling its way into the lives of some rather inhumane Court Officers.  Keep reading to find out why we are sending cards and where to send them.......  And this is turning into a Crusade for more than just Cadence....the big tree of family law in Utah is shaking at its roots, with Judges recusing themselves, Commissioners forced into resignation and/or recusal, skyrocketing requests for judicial court reviews and Bar reviews.  Every little bit helps!!

October is a busy birthday month for Grandma Char.  We had Maverick (Matt and Kelsey's son) turning 1 on the 1st, Shane (Adam's son) turning 12 today, the 6th, their Uncle Wally's bday is the 30th and Cadence's 2nd birthday is on the 31st - Halloween.  Help me wish ALL these amazing people in my tribe a BIG happy birthday!

Here's your mission if you choose to accept it:

Cadence will be turning 2 on Halloween this year (2013). We have not been allowed to see her since March 2013 but her biological dad Adam Mackley fights on. The stress and grief are daunting. Cadence's bio mom, stepdad, their well funded attorneys and the the biased circuit court judge and commissioner would prefer for Adam and Cadence's paternal extended family to disappear but we won't do that. Our prayer ALWAYS is that she's safe and loved and that her mom's heart will soften to realize Cadence needs her biological dad too, the man Cadence knew as Daddy from age 6 weeks to 14 months - when she was abruptly stripped from her father's life.

*That is our VISION.
*That is our HOPE.
*That is WHYwe keep fighting to get her back to having a relationship with her dad.

Cadence's Card Crusade:  4 cards. 4 addresses = a paradigm shift to get kids their dads.

Our GOAL is to affect a pardigm shift with LOVE.  LOVE will bring the seedy, biased, abusive court behavior out into the open.  LOVE shows everyone involved that the rights of both parents need equal weight in our society at all times.  LOVE and a gentle touch show Cadence and so many other kids like her that we won't stand idly by and let ANYONE steal her rightful heritage from her.

At this moment it doesn't appear that we will be able to throw her a birthday party with her dad.  So I decided to initiate a birthday card campaign with cards going to her mom's attorney Lorie Fowlke, the Judge Lynn Davis, one to a Utah Newspaper - the Ogden Standard Examiner and one to her dad Adam Mackley, just so he knows he's not alone on the difficult journey. Cadence will at least get the cards from her dad when he can finally see her. 

Below are the addresses to send the 4 cards to.   Please send age appropriate birthday cards for a 2 year old girl with no comments other than loving birthday messages to Cadence and sign your name and write in your relationship to her whether its family or family friend or equal parenting rights advocate. You don't have to write your last name if you'd feel more comfortable - just your first name and last initial are fine...also maybe what state and/or country you are from).  My vision is big bags of cards piling into these places - kinda like letters to Santa Claus. Imagine!!! IMAGINE!!! And please share and forward to everyone you know.  Together we can DO this!

Address for Cadence's mom's attorney:
Miss Cadence Belle Barney

C/O Lorie Fowlke

2696 N University Ave #220

Provo, UT 84604

Address for the Presiding Judge:

(Please be advised if you send this card you will be notified that you are improperly trying to communicate with a judge and thus influence a decision)

Miss Cadence Belle Barney

4th District Court - Utah County/Provo District
125 N 100 W
Provo, Utah 84601

Address for the local newspaper covering the case:
Miss Cadance Belle Barney
C/O Editor - Ogden Standard Examiner
332 Standard Way
Ogden, UT 84412

And for the 4th card - the final and coolest one:

Please send a card for her to Adam, so he sees how many people are watching and praying for him and Cadence.  And to help us continue some grandparents birthday card traditions:

Miss Cadence Belle Barney
C/O Her Dad Adam Mackley

PO Box 13926
Ogden, UT 84412

In this card please tape 4 quarters to the inside of the card (in loving memory of a tradition that Cadance's Great Great Grandparents William Isaac Griffiths and Anna Pearl Froisland Griffiths created to recognize the birthdays of their many, many grandkids.  Even on a fixed income they never, ever forgot their grandkids' birthdays. The day before our birthday a card would come in the mail with 4 quarters meticulously taped on the inside page of the card.  No matter how old we had gotten the endearing message that we were thought of and loved was PRICELESS!

AND if you are so inclined include 3 one dollar bills for Cadance to go have ice cream cones with her dad and brother Shane at McDonald's (honoring a tradition established by Cadance's Great Grandparents Robert Gary Dotson and the late Sylvia Anna Griffiths Dotson and continued by her current grandparents Chardale Dotson Irvine and Walter Irvine)

Thank you SO, SO much for your help! It means the world to us. We are fighting a very corrupt court system but we want the people in that system to know we are not going away. We love Cadance and want her to be part of our lives too. 

This is what they are trying to steal from Cadance: 

Post amputation surgery at 10 months at Shriners Hospital in Salt Lake City, Utah to prepare her leg to accept a prosthesis.

                    

This picture was taken that day after surgery for Cadence's post op follow-up.  Adam's visitation was in effect for the 3 days following surgery so he was the one who nursed her through the first stages of recovery from having her foot amputated.  There is a movie on my YouTube page that this pic was clipped from about that visit. 

Cadance loves playing with her big brother Shane.  Shane turned 13 a couple of weeks ago and she is missed that celebration too.

This is Adam holding his 3 month old son Shane while stationed at Point Mugu, CA while in the US Navy.  Point Mugu is just north of Malibu on the coast of California and just west of Oxnard and Camarillo.  Shane's mom gave birth to him in a Oxnard, CA hospital in early October 2001 just a few weeks after 9/11.  Adam was on his assigned aircraft carrier, the now decommisioned USS Constellation on 9/11.  The ship was on its "Tiger Cruise" leg between Hawaii and San Diego when the US was attacked.  A "Tiger Cruise" was the last leg of a ships journey where one member of the sailor's family would be allowed onboard for a few days.  Adam's dad Kelly was on the Constellation on that Tiger Cruise.  The Constellation was held on open sea for an extra week while the threat was evaluated.  Adam made it home just two weeks prior to Shane's birth. Tiger Cruises are a thing of the past now, as are open military bases.

Image of the USS Constellation Aircraft Carrier anchored in port at Sydney, Australia.  The Constellation has since been decommissioned.

Following is a video of what Adam Mackley many times a day, in daylight and darkness, for up to 18 hours a day.  He was one of the guys in the White Shirts.  Those shimmery, spinney things are huge fpropellers and the whiteshirts' hand hold upon launch is two finger holes in the deck.  It is a REALLY good thing this mom did not see this while he was active duty. Adam sustained a permanent hip injury from his military service and is an Honorably Discharged Disabled Navy Veteran of the Gulf War.

Image of the decommissioning ceremony of the USS Constellation, the last of the diesel aircraft carriers.

I'm know that Cadance needs to know these things about her brave dad - who fought honorably for this country and will carry the scars of that sacred patriotic duty with him for life.  The Utah Courts are trying to dismantle his paternity rights to be Cadance's father and Cadance's rights to know her father, just as the US Navy dismantled the USS Constellation.  Adam wore the uniform proudly to fight for our rights, the VERY rights that the Utah Courts are systematically and fraudulently stripped from him at this very moment.

Please make sure to forward this post to veterans, families of veterans and anyone with any sort of appreciation of the sacrifices our troops make for us.  Four birthday cards is all it takes to steam roll a paradigm shift with LOVE.

Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

Peace be with you and all that jazz!

This post may be shared and republished in the furtherance of Adam Mackley's case, veteran recognition and equal parenting rights.  All other rights reserved.  Chardale Irvine - 2013-2014

Hi Judge Davis. My name is Cadence. Please give me back my dad Adam Mackley

Update as of 6/15/2013 - No action was taken at court on the 16th.  Adam still has no access or recognition of his rights as Cadence's father.  He has ZERO contact.  He can't check on her well-being.  She will not be with him on his second Father's Day as his daughter.  Unless there is a miracle today.  We can hope and pray right? That her mom Adrienne Barney will see how important that is.  That she can open her mind to the healing that she herself will feel if she does that.  Living a lie kills the soul Adrienne.  It will kill yours and will kill Cadence's.

Please sign our petition to encourage the State to give Adam Mackley back his parental rights Give Cadence Her Daddy Adam Mackley back.

It is pretty simple really  This little girl needs her dad.

Pray for a change of heart.  Court is today at 3 pm mountain time in Provo, Utah at the courthouse.

Please sign our petition at: Give Cadence Her Daddy Adam Mackley back.

You may publish or forward this to anyone who might help bring Cadence back.  We love you Cadence and we miss you SO much!  Love Grandma Char and Grandpa Walt.

Thank you.

The Accidental Advocate

That is me.  The Accidental Advocate.  For a variety of reasons I find myself advocating for surprising groups and perspectives.  There seem to be so many ideas and messages that need a voice and a forum.  I stumble into them all the time and being the curious person that I am I usually have to do some investigation to find out what is behind this new idea (new to me, that is) and to figure out just why I haven't heard about it or thought about it already.

Of course I advocate for CFIDS/ME research - because I have this illness.  Of course I advocate for the reform of the medical system - because I struggle with it daily.  But do you know that there is a crosswalk in Aurora that is only there because I birddogged the city until they put traffic control in on a busy street near an elementary school?

I'm not a sign carrying protester usually but I sure can write a mean letter.  And blog....I guess too:)  So, here  I am, after a three month hiatus, getting back on the blogging horse, so to speak.  And my first plug will be for Father's Rights and Equal Parenting.

As of today it has been 90 days since my son, Adam Mackley, has seen his daughter Cadence.  It has been that long since I've talked to her on FaceTime as well.  On May 16th the 4th District Court gave parenting rights to Cadence's mom's husband Colton and took Adam's rights away - without cause.  It was a decision made on "legislative intent" by Judge Lynn Davis - who basically rubberstamped over a year's worth of biased court action by his underling Commissioner Thomas Patton.  These two men knowingly and with purpose, robbed my son of his constitutional right to be a parent.  We are circulating a petition to tell the judge that this decision needs to be reversed.  Please go to Change.org Petition to sign and show your support.

And as I plug for my son and my granddaughter I do so for all the fathers fighting for equal parenting in Utah.  It turns out there are many facing this bias.  Fathers turned into paupers as they pour all of their resources into paying legal fees to attempt to have ANY involvement with their children.  That energy and those resources could be put to SO much better use by having it focused on raising their children well.

Last week the Supreme Court granted custody to a biological father whose child was put up for adoption in Utah without his knowledge.  The State has been notified that it can no longer ignore the rights of biological fathers with impunity.

We are hoping and praying that Cadence is safe but we have no way to check. Her mom has struggled to make good decisions about her medical care and we are worried about that.  We just want our little girl back in her Daddy's arms.

We have not forgotten about you Cadence.  Love, Grandma Char