Putting Music To My Anger

Leave it to my deep subconscious to pick a song, and I love to sing, to attach the feelings to from my struggles with my health due to the neuro immune illness MEcfs and my son Adam Mackley's struggle to get his legal paternity recognized in Utah to get my granddaughter Cadance back, that has notes I will NEVER be able to hit.  (The was the world's longest sentence EVER)

Starting mid December of 2013, while very ill and destroyed from a trip I made to Utah to help ensure Adam's case could be appealed, this randomly selected song would bring me from a deep sleep and wake me with an ever louder shout of 'Natalie'. I would be hearing 'Natalie' screamed in rage by Bruno Mars from the inside out. It wouldn't stop til I got up and badly sang some bars & danced a bit of a jig. I know it's a fanciful fantasy but I imagine myself to be dancing just as energetically and rhythmically as his backup and band. (Hey! It's the ME version of dancing so back up there;)

Here's the YouTube video of my favorite performance of Bruno Mars performing 'Natalie'.

http://youtu.be/tZJ_Q20bOv0

The truth is I would put my rage about my illness and the horrific neglect and treatment by the medical profession, governments and society I've received, to this music if I could! And my nog on advocacy for the rights of birth fathers. There's a selfish piece there: that's my granddaughter Cadance they stole. I want and long for her to get back to us before my illness takes me out. 

Putting rage to music. Awesome.

Oops! My format isn't right. Check back!
ME Audio To Natalie 9.14.m4a

So my technology challenges are keeping you from hearing my badly sung version I've retitled simple: M.E. It might be a gift actually:)

As I listened to the song today I keyed in on the ominous percussion and angry voice - so angry that when you sing about what you would do if you got your hands on the source of your anger the only way you can describe what you would do is sing 'Woooo' in a high pitch. And it's funny because that is the one hard note I CAN hit.

So I will keep listening to this song until it's work is done. And thank you Bruno Mars. 

PS. If this post seems familiar it's because I've written about this before. So now....it will either seem like I'm further along in my journey to express my anger in a healthy way or I will be seen as obsessed with Bruno Mars. We will see how this goes;)

Peace be with you and all that jazz!

Copyright (c) Chardale Irvine - 2014. All rights reserved. 

Grandmother With Terminal Illness Fears She May Never See GranddaughterAgain

Grandmother With Terminal Illness Fears She May Never See Granddaughter, Cadance, Again

A Florida grandmother, who is in endstage ME (Myalgicdt Encephelomyelitis), is on a pilgrimage back to the mountain states where she was raised and where she raised her own children. Chardale Irvine, or Grandma Char as she's known to her grandkids is back to see and connect with her 7 grandchildren and their parents. As of now she's seen all 6 boys, ages 11 weeks to age 13 but the visit with her granddaughter may not happen in time.

Her almost 3 year old granddaughter, Cadance Barney, has been withheld from Mrs Irvine's son, Adam Mackley, for over 18 months. She was taken at age 14 months with the support of a corrupt Utah Family Law Court system and Cadance's mother's family, who are apparently willing to invest any amount of money to make sure Cadance's biological father is not a part of her life.

This is what they weren't prepared for: Cadance's biological father, Adam Mackley, who has made monumental efforts to demonstrate that he has the full intention and desire to be in his daughter's life, will not stop fighting to be able to function as Cadance's father again. Why would a father go to such lengths? Because he doesn't want Cadance to ever think she's not loved or worth fighting for. Because in those 14 months with her a permanent bond formed, as it only can with fathers and their children.  That bond over these last 18 months represents an open and deep wound that can't be healed for him until he gets his daughter back. And Mrs Irvine has tried to support him in every way she can though her progressing illness has severely impeded that. 

The truth is Adam has had legal problems but in America even people in prison are allowed visitation with their children. This is largely because studies have shown that when children are able to have a relationship with their biological father, regardless of the father's circumstances, it helps the child immensely. Direct results show male children grow up with fewer legal challenges and female children have a much lower percentage of promiscuity and better self-esteem if they have access to their father.

Cadance was born with significant birth defects in her hips and legs. She had her left foot amputated by doctors at Shriners Hospital in Salt Lake City at 10 months to prepare to receive a prosthesis. Adam did the first three days of her post op care at his home and brought her to Shriners for her post op follow up. 

Cadance had just received her prosthesis one week prior to visitation being denied and was cruising along furniture immediately. She took her first steps two weeks after the last time we saw her.

With little medical acknowledgement of her own illness until very recently, Mrs. Irvine's health has significantly deteriorated. As the illness continues to cause irreversible brain damage, she fears Cadance may never know who her Grandma Char is and this walkabout to bond with her grandkids before it is too late holds an open and gaping void with no way, thus far, to see Cadance.

What would Grandma Char want Cadance to know? That she is loved beyond measure by a whole family, some of whom she has met and many more that she hasn't yet met. That her dad and her grandma will not give up in their efforts to bring her back to this family. That Cadance comes from a family of courageous, adventurous and creative travelers, whose people are beautiful, strong, creative and intelligent.

This little girl, who looks just like her dad, who looks just like his mom (and twin brother), who looks just like her dad, has a place set at our table and in our hearts. This family wants her to know that it doesn't matter how long we are kept away or how far away we are in miles, she is a part of our family.

But Grandma Char worries. Will the corrupt Utah family law system and efforts to illegally sever emotional bonds hurt Cadance? Has it already hurt her?She fears that if Cadance has even 1/100th of the pain her dad and grandma have due to this separation, then it is too much. This little girl with all of her physical challenges will only benefit from more people to inspire her, encourage her and help her find her way.

So Grandma Char continues her pilgrimage to see family in the mountain states with the sacred hope that a miracle will happen for her to see and bond some more with Cadance.

Commissioner Thomas Patton in Provo Utah is a kidnapper and revels in Pain and Suffering

My Granddaughter has been kidnapped by the State of Utah.

Update: Wednesday, November 22 the ruling was signed that denied my son paternity rights.  On Wednesday, November 26th the paternity case was dismissed and the previous temporary orders were voided.  These were the orders that allowed Adam to have visitation with his daughter for the first 14 months of her life. Then they all went home and had turkey dinner with their families. It has now been over 10 months since we last saw Cadence.  The abuses of the Court have taken their toll on Adam, stretching his coping mechanisms to the breaking point.

We have not seen her for over 6 months and when we try to check on her we are accused of harassment or stalking.  This is not a case of unfit parenting. It is not a case of an unhappy divorce.  It IS a case of the government STILL thinking it has the right to choose who parents our children. God chooses who the parents of our children are.  He does a quite fine job at it too and now we have the science of DNA tests to verify for anyone who might question God's work.

And Judge Lynn Davis is trying to seal the deal.At.All.Costs.  And they have NO actual legal right to do so because of the fact that legally binding paternity documents were ALREADY on file with the State of Utah.  **Note:  As of 10/22 Judge Lynn Davis recused himself from this case two weeks ago.  Commissioner Thomas Patton is still attached as far as we know.

They are trying to pull off a "legal", State sanctioned kidnapping by "giving" my granddaughter Cadence Belle Barney, to the man who is married to Cadence's mother, EVEN though this husband signed and filed a voluntary release of paternity which was part two of a State issued Voluntary Declaration of Paternity which was signed by both Adrienne Barney (Cadence's biological mother) and by my son, Adam Christopher Mackley (Cadence's biological father).  This form was filed with Cadence's birth certificate when it was filed with the State.

My son "NavyVetDad"Adam Christopher Mackley's name is on that birth certificate as her father.  He has DNA proof he is Cadence's father.  He has 13 1/2 months of parenting time with this little girl. And at this very moment their are stipulated custody agreements on file with the 4th District Court recognizing Adam as Cadence's father and acknowleging his rights as her parent.  These are signed by both Commisioner Patton and Judge Davis.

And yet the 4th District Court located in Provo, Utah guided the mother's attorney, unsolicited and on the record, of how exactly to refile her case so that Adam would not even be considered as Cadence's father.  Because of Thomas Patton's guidance to opposing counsel Adam has not seen his daughter for over 6 months. She was 14 months when he last saw her and she turns 2 in a few weeks - that is a full quarter of her entire life at this moment.  Any efforts he or I have made to check on her well-being are met with retaliatory protective orders or stalking orders and/or the threat of such.

Here is the court transcript of the hearing that irrevocably changed the course of the intent of custody proceedings and led to the kidnapping of Cadence:

One of the last pics Adam has with Cadence.  They were riding the train from Provo to Ogden to meet up with Cadence's stepmom MaryAnne Ellis Mackley.

Adam said I actually captioned this incorrectly. He had held her prior to this pic as well.This was the first visitation.

Adam Mackley 4:48am Oct 9 1. Adam Mackley’s and Adrienne Openshaw’s child, Cadence Belle Barney, was born on October 31, 2011. 2. Adam Mackley is the biological father of Cadence Belle Barney pursuant to genetic testing completed in November 2011. 3. Adrienne Barney and Adam Mackley signed a stipulated order on December 12, 2011 and December 13, 2011, respectively. That Stipulated Ordered declared that Adam Mackley was the father of Cadence and should have all the rights and responsibilities of such a relationship. That Order was entered by the Fourth District Court of Utah County on January 24, 2012, with the signatures of both Judge Lynn Davis and Commissioner Thomas Patton. 4. On December 13, 2012, Adam Mackley and Adrienne Barney, along with her counsel, Lorie Fowlke, attended a pretrial conference before Commissioner Thomas Patton to certify any remaining issues for trial. 5. At that hearing on December 13, 2012, without prompting or request of any party, Commissioner Thomas Patton, provided legal advice to Ms. Barney’s counsel by stating the following at approximately 5:50 into the hearing: Patton:Is your client still married, Ms. Fowlke? Fowlke:Yes, this is her, her husband is here. Patton:Is he claiming. . . Fowlke:No. Patton:Well, your client’s answer is “I don’t acknowledge that he’s the father. Fowlke:Well, we’re past that. Mackley:The DNA test is proof that. . Fowlke:They did a DNA test. . Patton:A DNA test doesn’t mean anything, there’s a . . Fowlke:Presumption. . Patton:No. There’s an appellate court decision in the state of Utah that says it doesn’t make any difference if you claim you’re the father. It doesn’t make any difference if the DNA test says that you’re the father. It says if the husband wants to be dad, he’s dad. So I’m not so sure we don’t have to join an indispensable party. Fowlke:Maybe we’ll both be amending our petition then. Patton:In fact, it was out of MY court. The reason I know. Mr. Wilkinson took me up. I said, they came in, and basically everybody acknowledged this person has been having visitation, et cetera. I ordered a paternity test and they took it up and they said Nope, married, baby born during the marriage, don’t have to acknowledge a third party father. And I’m really summarizing it for both of you. Mackley:I understand. Fowlke:Well, we may be moving to amend then. Patton:Mr Wilkinson took it straight up and he got a ruling on it. Fowlke:I’d understood under the Uniform Parentage Act that if a claim was filed within 300 days of the birth, that rebutted the presumption. Patton:Well, counsel, I’m assuming you would have ruled as I had ruled. But, uh. . Fowlke:Yep, but a lot better to look up the case. Patton:Somebody told me different. Fowlke:Well, in that case, we may do a motion for summary judgment before we get to trial. Patton:Well, that being the case, maybe we are premature on our pretrial. 6. The pretrial hearing was rescheduled for February 7, 2013.

It is routine for the Utah Family Law courts to steal babies from their  unmarried dads.  This is how the Appelate Court has chosen to interpret legislation that has language that puts the biological father just barely above the "presumed" father.  They also routinely sanction illegal adoptions and tie up fathers in court for years trying to get custody of their children who were given away to strangers even when the single father provides documentation that shows interest in raising the child.

Yes Adrienne Barney got pregnant while still married to her current husband Colton Barney.  She did so under fraudulent terms.  She lied and said she had filed divorce papers and that she was living with her mom.  And then she lied to Colton and told him baby was his.  When Adam informed Colton that there was a high chance that the baby was his she repeatedly threatended to give the child up for adoption forcing Adam to files notices of paternity early with the courts prior to Cadence's birth.  Had he not done this, under Utah law she could have given the baby up for adoption and he would have had no chance to have custody.  Adrienne chose to keep Cadence (for which we are very grateful). Adrienne has now continued to let her attorney lie for her to make up this story that Colton is her dad.  The lies pile up from Adrienne, Colton, their attorney's and then rolled out on the red carpet by the 4th District Court Family Law system.  The level of deceit is scary.  These are the people who have my granddaughter - with no oversight, no counterbalance to lies and secrets. 

We are not trying to take Cadence away from her mom.  We are trying to give Cadence back her dad.  Her dad Navy Veteran Adam Christopher Mackley DOES NOT ACCEPT the State of Utah's "position" that the husband of the mother always gets the kid.  Cadence's grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins don't accept that either.  This kid is OUR kid too.  And we will not stop fighting to have her back in our lives.

We are having a Card Crusade for Cadence to flood these biased, unethical and frankly criminal people with cards that show that what they are doing is not recognized by anyone with ANY sense of what is right and good for a child.  These are the people in charge of making permanent custody arrangements for children.  They DO NOT act in the best interest of the children nor do they honor biological father's God-given and constituional rights to raise their children. 4 cards to 4 addresses:  Here is the link to the addresses:

Birthday Card Crusade For Cadence 

She turns 2 on Halloween so don't delay!!  Let's pile the cards up in these people's offices - The Judge Lynn Davis, The Commissioner Thomas Patton and, The Attorney Lorie Fowlke and of course Cadence's dad Adam Christopher Mackley - so that when she comes home he can read them all to her.

Say no to kidnapping.

Please pray for Cadence.  We have not been allowed to check on her well-being without threat of charges.  We are still fighting to get her back but we don't have money to pay an attorney so Adam is having to fight this battle Pro Se.  He had one attorney who did not do a good job.  Cards, prayers - it all goes a long way to helping Adam know he's not alone on the path and sending a message to some people who act like the cat who ate the canary.  Now it will be the Commissioner who arranged the kidnapping and the Judge who sanctioned and signed off on it.  Your cards can move mountains with love.

We love and miss you Cadence.  Our dream is to be able to celebrate your birthday with you in a few weeks but no matter what we won't give up.

Love Grandma Char and Grandpa Walt.

Update! Cadence Card Crusade Still Needs You!!

10/22/2014- Update and news flash! Sadly we are approaching another birthday without Cadance. She will be turning 3 on 10/31/2014. Yep, her birthday is on Halloween. Please help us let her know that we love her and can't wait to see her again. It's now been over a year and a half since she's seen her daddy Adam Mackley. The case is being prepared for the Utah Supreme Court. Please join our Facebook page: Cadence's Turn

And get details of Adam's progress with the corrupt Utah court system at

Givecadenceavoice.info

Adam can use your support and prayers. 

/22/2013 Update and News Flash:  Just 1 week until Cadence turns 2 on Halloween!!!  When you're out buying candy and costumes for those little ghosts and goblins, pick up 4 birthday cards and drop them in the mail.

Can we move mountains with love? YES WE CAN!  And we ARE! I'm hearing gentle rumblings from all over the country and even a few places around the world that tell me the Cadence Card Crusade is steamrolling its way into the lives of some rather inhumane Court Officers.  Keep reading to find out why we are sending cards and where to send them.......  And this is turning into a Crusade for more than just Cadence....the big tree of family law in Utah is shaking at its roots, with Judges recusing themselves, Commissioners forced into resignation and/or recusal, skyrocketing requests for judicial court reviews and Bar reviews.  Every little bit helps!!

October is a busy birthday month for Grandma Char.  We had Maverick (Matt and Kelsey's son) turning 1 on the 1st, Shane (Adam's son) turning 12 today, the 6th, their Uncle Wally's bday is the 30th and Cadence's 2nd birthday is on the 31st - Halloween.  Help me wish ALL these amazing people in my tribe a BIG happy birthday!

Here's your mission if you choose to accept it:

Cadence will be turning 2 on Halloween this year (2013). We have not been allowed to see her since March 2013 but her biological dad Adam Mackley fights on. The stress and grief are daunting. Cadence's bio mom, stepdad, their well funded attorneys and the the biased circuit court judge and commissioner would prefer for Adam and Cadence's paternal extended family to disappear but we won't do that. Our prayer ALWAYS is that she's safe and loved and that her mom's heart will soften to realize Cadence needs her biological dad too, the man Cadence knew as Daddy from age 6 weeks to 14 months - when she was abruptly stripped from her father's life.

*That is our VISION.
*That is our HOPE.
*That is WHYwe keep fighting to get her back to having a relationship with her dad.

Cadence's Card Crusade:  4 cards. 4 addresses = a paradigm shift to get kids their dads.

Our GOAL is to affect a pardigm shift with LOVE.  LOVE will bring the seedy, biased, abusive court behavior out into the open.  LOVE shows everyone involved that the rights of both parents need equal weight in our society at all times.  LOVE and a gentle touch show Cadence and so many other kids like her that we won't stand idly by and let ANYONE steal her rightful heritage from her.

At this moment it doesn't appear that we will be able to throw her a birthday party with her dad.  So I decided to initiate a birthday card campaign with cards going to her mom's attorney Lorie Fowlke, the Judge Lynn Davis, one to a Utah Newspaper - the Ogden Standard Examiner and one to her dad Adam Mackley, just so he knows he's not alone on the difficult journey. Cadence will at least get the cards from her dad when he can finally see her. 

Below are the addresses to send the 4 cards to.   Please send age appropriate birthday cards for a 2 year old girl with no comments other than loving birthday messages to Cadence and sign your name and write in your relationship to her whether its family or family friend or equal parenting rights advocate. You don't have to write your last name if you'd feel more comfortable - just your first name and last initial are fine...also maybe what state and/or country you are from).  My vision is big bags of cards piling into these places - kinda like letters to Santa Claus. Imagine!!! IMAGINE!!! And please share and forward to everyone you know.  Together we can DO this!

Address for Cadence's mom's attorney:
Miss Cadence Belle Barney

C/O Lorie Fowlke

2696 N University Ave #220

Provo, UT 84604

Address for the Presiding Judge:

(Please be advised if you send this card you will be notified that you are improperly trying to communicate with a judge and thus influence a decision)

Miss Cadence Belle Barney

4th District Court - Utah County/Provo District
125 N 100 W
Provo, Utah 84601

Address for the local newspaper covering the case:
Miss Cadance Belle Barney
C/O Editor - Ogden Standard Examiner
332 Standard Way
Ogden, UT 84412

And for the 4th card - the final and coolest one:

Please send a card for her to Adam, so he sees how many people are watching and praying for him and Cadence.  And to help us continue some grandparents birthday card traditions:

Miss Cadence Belle Barney
C/O Her Dad Adam Mackley

PO Box 13926
Ogden, UT 84412

In this card please tape 4 quarters to the inside of the card (in loving memory of a tradition that Cadance's Great Great Grandparents William Isaac Griffiths and Anna Pearl Froisland Griffiths created to recognize the birthdays of their many, many grandkids.  Even on a fixed income they never, ever forgot their grandkids' birthdays. The day before our birthday a card would come in the mail with 4 quarters meticulously taped on the inside page of the card.  No matter how old we had gotten the endearing message that we were thought of and loved was PRICELESS!

AND if you are so inclined include 3 one dollar bills for Cadance to go have ice cream cones with her dad and brother Shane at McDonald's (honoring a tradition established by Cadance's Great Grandparents Robert Gary Dotson and the late Sylvia Anna Griffiths Dotson and continued by her current grandparents Chardale Dotson Irvine and Walter Irvine)

Thank you SO, SO much for your help! It means the world to us. We are fighting a very corrupt court system but we want the people in that system to know we are not going away. We love Cadance and want her to be part of our lives too. 

This is what they are trying to steal from Cadance: 

Post amputation surgery at 10 months at Shriners Hospital in Salt Lake City, Utah to prepare her leg to accept a prosthesis.

                    

This picture was taken that day after surgery for Cadence's post op follow-up.  Adam's visitation was in effect for the 3 days following surgery so he was the one who nursed her through the first stages of recovery from having her foot amputated.  There is a movie on my YouTube page that this pic was clipped from about that visit. 

Cadance loves playing with her big brother Shane.  Shane turned 13 a couple of weeks ago and she is missed that celebration too.

This is Adam holding his 3 month old son Shane while stationed at Point Mugu, CA while in the US Navy.  Point Mugu is just north of Malibu on the coast of California and just west of Oxnard and Camarillo.  Shane's mom gave birth to him in a Oxnard, CA hospital in early October 2001 just a few weeks after 9/11.  Adam was on his assigned aircraft carrier, the now decommisioned USS Constellation on 9/11.  The ship was on its "Tiger Cruise" leg between Hawaii and San Diego when the US was attacked.  A "Tiger Cruise" was the last leg of a ships journey where one member of the sailor's family would be allowed onboard for a few days.  Adam's dad Kelly was on the Constellation on that Tiger Cruise.  The Constellation was held on open sea for an extra week while the threat was evaluated.  Adam made it home just two weeks prior to Shane's birth. Tiger Cruises are a thing of the past now, as are open military bases.

Image of the USS Constellation Aircraft Carrier anchored in port at Sydney, Australia.  The Constellation has since been decommissioned.

Following is a video of what Adam Mackley many times a day, in daylight and darkness, for up to 18 hours a day.  He was one of the guys in the White Shirts.  Those shimmery, spinney things are huge fpropellers and the whiteshirts' hand hold upon launch is two finger holes in the deck.  It is a REALLY good thing this mom did not see this while he was active duty. Adam sustained a permanent hip injury from his military service and is an Honorably Discharged Disabled Navy Veteran of the Gulf War.

Image of the decommissioning ceremony of the USS Constellation, the last of the diesel aircraft carriers.

I'm know that Cadance needs to know these things about her brave dad - who fought honorably for this country and will carry the scars of that sacred patriotic duty with him for life.  The Utah Courts are trying to dismantle his paternity rights to be Cadance's father and Cadance's rights to know her father, just as the US Navy dismantled the USS Constellation.  Adam wore the uniform proudly to fight for our rights, the VERY rights that the Utah Courts are systematically and fraudulently stripped from him at this very moment.

Please make sure to forward this post to veterans, families of veterans and anyone with any sort of appreciation of the sacrifices our troops make for us.  Four birthday cards is all it takes to steam roll a paradigm shift with LOVE.

Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

Peace be with you and all that jazz!

This post may be shared and republished in the furtherance of Adam Mackley's case, veteran recognition and equal parenting rights.  All other rights reserved.  Chardale Irvine - 2013-2014

Hi Judge Davis. My name is Cadence. Please give me back my dad Adam Mackley

Update as of 6/15/2013 - No action was taken at court on the 16th.  Adam still has no access or recognition of his rights as Cadence's father.  He has ZERO contact.  He can't check on her well-being.  She will not be with him on his second Father's Day as his daughter.  Unless there is a miracle today.  We can hope and pray right? That her mom Adrienne Barney will see how important that is.  That she can open her mind to the healing that she herself will feel if she does that.  Living a lie kills the soul Adrienne.  It will kill yours and will kill Cadence's.

Please sign our petition to encourage the State to give Adam Mackley back his parental rights Give Cadence Her Daddy Adam Mackley back.

It is pretty simple really  This little girl needs her dad.

Pray for a change of heart.  Court is today at 3 pm mountain time in Provo, Utah at the courthouse.

Please sign our petition at: Give Cadence Her Daddy Adam Mackley back.

You may publish or forward this to anyone who might help bring Cadence back.  We love you Cadence and we miss you SO much!  Love Grandma Char and Grandpa Walt.

Thank you.

You Can't Go Home

As our transition from RV to house becomes almost complete I am starkly reminded of the fact that the friends who we left in Denver when we went on the road are not the same people now. I'm not even sure if we can even call them friends now. We certainly cannot rely on them as our support system now.

There is such a sense of loss with that and even more of an awareness of just how alone we really are now. It's a stark example of true existential loneliness.

Walt is flying back to Florida from Denver tonight where he went to oversee the splitting up of our stuff that has been in storage the whole three and a half years we have been on the road. Our 'house contents' basically under lock and key waiting for the next phase.

Less than half of what was in the storage will make the trip to Florida. We did a crowdfunding call and collected enough money to only pay for 350 cubic feet. We had over 900 cubic feet of stuff. The whole letting go of attachments was draining but also freeing. We are so grateful to the people who donated - it couldn't have happened without your help.

There is sadness as we close the door on calling Colorado home. Of our old friends only one could free themselves up to help or connect with Walt. The person that helped was one of our 'newer' Denver friends. The 'old' friends were nowhere to be found.

I was very angry about this and was expressing that to my dad when he said. 'They are not the same people now as when you left. You can't go home. Home isn't there anymore'.

I had thought of 85 different lectures and confrontations I would have with these friends. But alas, after my dad's sage observation I understand I have to let them go.

My kids and grandkids are still there. It's IS their home. They showed up to help and were amazing! It is no longer my home. And as the true gypsy I realize that home is where I am at the moment. I am here now in Florida. I did not come here to break connections and strands but that is a side effect. I came here because of my health and my husband's health.

I planted zuchinni in the ground outside last week. It is a metaphor for the planting that is taking place for us now in this new place. I still do not have any sense or feeling that I will actually be here to harvest them.

I realize too that maybe I have nothing my old friends need anymore. I can't teach them how to live and thrive in the same, familiar place. I can't teach them a way to signal it's time to clean the fridge because I only do that when I move. I do have a guest room near the beach so I hope they will find their way to us here.

46 moves for me and 30 something for Walt makes us outcasts and on the fringe. It is lonely but there IS a sense of freedom about it. With strands and most old attachments broken it leaves me and us open to new things. That's scary and I know because we have faced that fear over and over we may be the craziest yet most courageous people I know.

This is Walt's rental car outside of his the La Quinta Hotel in Aurora, CO on Sunday morning, February 24, 2013.

This is the view from Bruno's new PetSmart in Daytona Beach, FL after a heavy downpour on February 25, 2013. In the distance is the Daytona 500 Speedway where Danica Patrick set multiple new records for "firsts" for women in racing during Opening Day racing the day before.  From here I drove 14 miles south to New Smyrna Beach, where we live at 4:30 pm on a Monday on I-95. 

 

Peace be with you and all that jazz.....

 

For the latest update and status on how thing are going with Adam and Cadence check out the latest post at Keep Adam & Cadence Together crowdfunding

 

 

Copyright (c) 2013. Chardale Irvine.  All rights reserved.

A Little Girl and Her Daddy Need Your Help

Check for the latest update on the status and progress at Keep Cadence and her Daddy (and Grandma) together

 

These two people need your help:  (to jump ahead click here:  Keep Cadence With Her Daddy

 

Meet Cadence

 

and her daddy Adam Mackley

 

Cadence is my 18 month old grandaughter.  She is the daughter of my son Adam Mackley who lives in Provo, Utah.

Adam is in the fight of his life trying to carve out his permanent parental rights as Cadence's biological dad in a state (Utah) that is completely biased toward protecting the "image" of the nuclear family by stripping the parental rights of fathers who aren't married to their child's mother.  In the state of Utah a man who IS married to the child's mother gets preference to have parental rights - even if the biological father WANTS to be involved in the child's life.  This is case law that is actively used by the state to strip father's of their parental rights and strips little children of their opportunity to have a healthy relationship with their father.

I have created a fundraising project to help Adam pay his attorney his retainer of $500.  It goes into detail about the situation.  Please take a moment to click here Keep Cadence With Her Daddy.  Adam is not fighting to take Cadence's mom's parental rights away.  He's just fighting to keep his own.  Can you help?  If you'd rather work directly with the attorney's office here is a link to their contact info:  Allen, Richards & Pace PC

BTW...a badass, well known and respected Defense Attorney - Randy Richards has agreed to represent Adam.  This is GREAT news but this is not a slam dunk.  The system is VERY biased and they have a battle ahead of them.  He is charging $500 for his retainer which is obviously much lower than normal but even that will be a challenge for Adam.  Anything you can do to help with that will be immensely helpful.  Here is a link to a prominent case he is currently working on:  RandyRichardsforMatthewStewart

Here is a picture of Adam when in the Navy holding his then 6 month old son Shane - Shane is Cadence's 11 year old half brother. 

And here is a picture of me hugging Shane a few years ago on one of his visits to see me when we lived in Aurora, CO.  If Cadence's mom is successful in her efforts to strip Adam of his parental rights I will never have an opportunity to hug Cadence like this.  My fear about that is deep and just the tip of the iceberg of how Adam must feel.  I'm worried about him.  And I'm very worried about her.

This is a complicated family situation where time to bond and connect, to teach and influence, are limited.  A legal intervention that creates even MORE difficulty and decreases that time creates longterm and irrepairable damage.  Adam is exquisitely aware of these limitations but embraces them as part of his challenge.  But as my dad posted on Facebook today: "The one big mistake I made in my life turned out not to be a mistake."  Cadence was created in the traditional way but came into the world to a very non-traditional setting.  She does have two parents who love her in that crazy, 'fight to the death' way that some parents are blessed with and that is GOOD because she is going to need that and THEM both.

Cadence was born with 'leg issues'.  Her short little life has been peppered with painful casting and surgery.  Her ortho needs are being provided by the Shriners Hospital in SLC which is fabulous but Adam has had no say in her care, treatment and strategy.  The mom and hospital are not required to notify him of appointments and surgeries.  Several months ago Cadence had her left foot amputated to prepare for prosthesis.  Adam had to GUESS when the surgery was.  He had to struggle to be allowed to be in the hospital with her.  He is fighting to have a say in her medical care as well.

When you sit down with your child today and have an open, unhindered conversation or a hug with no expected beginning or end with them please notice it.  Please understand what a gift it is to have noone challenging your right to be with that child that has your blood coursing through their veins.  And please try to think about what it would feel like if that were threatened and questioned every day.  Would it turn you into a crazed, feral like mama, daddy or grandparent?  Would you lose your composure and sense of decorum during that challenge?  Would you fight back?  You bet your life you would.  You can help.

Keep Cadence with her Daddy



Peace be with you and all the jazz......