It is not okay to say "perhaps you should give up the fight til she's 18" when there are still legal options available to get the child back. Whenever you are tempted to say it stop. Ask yourself if right this minute someone said that about your kid, you know the one you fixed breakfast for and sent off to pre-school? If this kid was not allowed to come home by the government or school or anyone for that matter....if you heard that would your instinct be to wait until they were 18 to see the again.
It's not okay to say "you should stop hyper-focusing on the missing child because your child who is with you is suffering" unless you and those around you have done everything you can to be there and take care of this child that is there to allow the parent(s) to focus on finding the child..
It's not okay to say "maybe you should give up the fight" because you can't afford it" unless a large group of his or her support system is adding to the infrastructure that allows a parent to fight these arduous battles.
Because if your advice is taken we will look in the mirror every day and whip ourselves for letting the corrupt bastards take our child and grandchild. A child will grow up and when looking back will see that there was no fight for her.
It's not okay to say "you should stop hyper-focusing on the missing child because your child who is with you is suffering" unless you and those around you have done everything you can to be there and take care of this child that is there to allow the parent(s) to focus on finding the child..
It's not okay to say "maybe you should give up the fight" because you can't afford it" unless a large group of his or her support system is adding to the infrastructure that allows a parent to fight these arduous battles.
Because if your advice is taken we will look in the mirror every day and whip ourselves for letting the corrupt bastards take our child and grandchild. A child will grow up and when looking back will see that there was no fight for her.