A Gypsy Girl: What Would I Say To Myself Age 1-5

Age 1:

Where was I? Orem, UT

Your mom and dad will always be sad that your brother Maury died of SIDS on March 6 at the age of 13 months when you were 6 weeks old. Hang on. With a bit of time they will be back on track. After you get your tonsils out next year you won't be sick nearly as much. You are tiny and frail now but you will grow to be strong and tall.

Age 2: 

Where was I? Provo, UT and Dutch John, UT (where my dad helped build the Flaming Gorge Dam)

See that little baby girl in the crib right there? She will be your closest and bestest friend forever and ever. You will save her from drowning when she's 3 and you will try to cut her leg off by throwing her in the river showing off for boys when she is in the 4th grade. When you're 53 she will still be your best friend and best ally. Her name is Sherone.

Age 3: 

Where was I: Not a clue

I got nothin' except get lots of rest because the next few years you're going to get yourself in lots of painful pickles.

Age 4: 

Where was I? Payson, UT 

Don't run in front of a bike while someone is riding. When they run you over it will hurt like hell even if your brother gets a whooping. Don't stand near anyone swinging a sickle (sling blade - is there a reason that's one of my favorite movies?) cutting weeds because it will leave a painful gash and big lifetime scar when they hit you in the leg even if your brother gets a whooping for hitting you. Sadly not every landlord will give you Lifesavers when he comes to collect the rent. You will not live in that spider infested house much longer. Your constant nosebleeds will soon stop. That roseola virus you have this year is coming back to haunt you at age 35 and on by setting the stage for you to get ME/CFS. You won't be a morning person ever again after this year. You'll also never 'have' to nap again.

Age 5:

Where was I? Linden, UT and Modesto, CA

If you melt the toes of your snow boots in the campfire trying to warm your feet you won't get new boots. Your brother will never trust you after the third strike of running the iron up his arm. Sherone will save you from your first whooping by getting blamed for exploding the lightbulbs from spitting on them.

You will never find another kid like Julie who likes to perpetually spin on the monkey bar as much as you do. There is not one other person in the world who will ever beat your 100 spins in a row record or sport that awesome callous on the back of your right knee like that.

That batmobile in Modesto was probably NOT the real batmobile. 

You will someday love and crave those dreadful avocados. 

Someday wearing that Autumn Leaf Girl costume that your mom made will be a fond memory.

Sorry to say it but this will be the funniest Christmas ever. 


My sister Sherone Taylor blogs about the beauty and basics of life at www.annapearlsattic.blogspot.com

Barry Manilow Has Still Got It!

Flashback:  I'm 17 years old.  It is the summer of 1978.  I'm in between my junior and senior years of high school and I'm in Provo, Utah at Brigham Young University (BYU) Girls' Basketball Camp.


I was there with my friend Kathy Gillespie.  We stayed with my grandparents Bill and Pearl Griffiths in Orem.




That night I was up walking in my sleep, running basketball plays in the hallway outside of my Grandma's bedroom....that dark, long night in Orem, Utah....a 34 year old Barry Manilow was playing in concert at the university.  I was so envious that I could not go see him but I had to focus on making it out of basketball camp alive and apparently my psyche was concerned, thus the midnight hallway basketball game that scared the crap out of my Grandma.




Flash forward to last night, 36 years later I FINALLY got to see the now 70 year old Barry Manilow in concert in Orlando, Florida and it was AWESOME. Hubs won tickets on the radio....105.9 Sunny FM....sweet seats in a Founders Box.  The music was fabulous.  Barry was fabulous.  His voice hasn't lost a bit of its sweetness.  He can still hold a note for 7 days straight. He is still a fabulous musician and he is still really funny.




Payday came and went with no deposit for some unexplained reason so we drove there with a quarter tank of gas hoping it would last.  It did.  (Thank god). Both of us slept all day to get to the point where we felt well enough to leave the house for a few hours.  We had the sideways quizzing trying to evaluate who felt better to drive and we agreed that we would leave early if we started feeling worse (as we had in November at the TransSiberian Orchestra Christmas Concert).




We did a lot more when Walt was healthy and it was only me with ME/CFIDS.  I knew that he could drag me home if I collapsed and he was level, very level so there was just no worry.  Not now. Now there is much worry and both of us are very ill so it is a miracle beyond miracles when we actually coincide feeling well enough at the same time to do something like this concert.




Our seats were in a Founders' Box and we could stand up and move around which has become an essential part of any event including just going to a movie. We have to frequently change positions, from sitting to standing and frankly I'm on the verge of bring a cot with me everywhere so I can lie down too.




But Barry....oh Barry....he wasn't messed up at all and for a few moments in a few songs I was back in my younger days listening to that music, usually at a school or church dance, which I inevitably flowered the wall.  Such is the life of a skinny, tall girl from the other side of the tracks in a teeny, tiny, rural Wyoming town.  But the music....it was awesome, dancing or not.




Every time I get to see one of these old performers I feel grateful to get to see them one more time.  These concerts though.....especially now that we are on disability and could never afford the tickets....they seem very opulent and I think that we (I) have been very spoiled in so many ways.  There was a day when my former husband and I chose to use grocery money to go see REO Speedwagon and then later Bob Seger.  Even while we were just scrimping by on tips and minimum wage.  How did we do that?




So here is the Barry of yesterday - as in just yesterday....looking good dude and.....









Here is the Barry of 1978....

Not too shabby Barry.  Not too shabby.


My hope and prayer is that a cause, treatment and cure are found for this awful illness that Walt and I have.  And Barry reminds me of the message that always came from both my mom and my dad that music is a fundamental part of happy.  So I sing every day.  I hum to increase the nitrous oxide in my system.  I sing Do-Re-Mi for respiratory therapy and I try to learn and record a new song every week.


I just know this:  it is possible to be in incredible, unresolvable pain and still have fun.  Happy is not a constant but it is usually found in song and laughter in my life.  Especially laughter.


Mr. Manilow has started a foundation that gifts old and forgotten musical instruments to the schools around the US that have still, somehow, managed to hold onto their music programs.  If you have an old, forgotten instrument in your attic or basement, even if it is broken, consider donating it to his foundation....for the kids......for the Barry Manilow in the second grade right now who needs that chance to shine.  Here's the link:  The Manilow Music Project


Peace be with you and all that jazz.....

Why I Always Click It - A Seatbelt Parable

Years ago, when I was living in Ogden Utah, married to my first husband with three toddlers, our lives and perspective on seat belts would change one day with a knock on the door.

I opened the door to find two of our friends standing there, a couple married just a few years. They were two people blessed with beauty - a mix of ski bum and beach bum - blonde, blue eyed - model types.

It was odd to find them at our door. We'd known them socially, as we travelled in the same circles, but they had never been to the house. But there they were - so I asked them in.

They were quick to let us know they were on a "crusade' to talk to people about seat belts. Nine months earlier they had been driving home at night after a movie. It was dark. They were in their neighborhood so were going about 25 miles per hour when the car hit a manhole that the city workers had failed to put the cover back. It was like hitting a solid brick wall.

Neither was wearing seatbelts and both had their faces thrown into the dash causing major facial damage.

Nine months later they stood there. After multiple surgeries they were back in life. She was nearly finished but he faced multiple other surgeries to piece his facial structure back together.

And they just wanted to remind their friends of how crucial the simple act of clicking that seatbelt can be.

It was a turning point. No more trips were ever taken without a seatbelt.

Here is an even better and more current illustration of this concept:

I've heard recently that seatbelt usage is up to 80% now.  This is amazing! And yet I still run into people who are adamant about not using them and insistent on explaining why. And then I gently tell them my story.  I don't know if it ever changed anything for anyone other than myself and my family but I still feel a need to tell it sometimes, humbly and with gratitude because really, regarding my Odgen friends' experience, there but for the grace of God go I.

Peace be with you and all that jazz!

Copyright (c) 2013 - Chardale Irvine. All rights reserved.

The Best Mud Driving Story Ever: Monroe Mountain

My brother, Rob, is up in the mountains in Arizona right now and it has been very rainy so I've been hearing about how difficult driving in the mud is for them at their property.  This reminded me of my best mud driving story ever.

My son Adam, the oldest by 4 minutes, was visiting me in the year 2000 when I lived in Monroe, a small town in central Utah.  He was on leave from the US Navy.  My property was right at the base of Monroe Mountain. We had been cooped up in the house for several days because of heavy rains.  Finally a blue day dawned and Adam talked me into going for a drive.

He took the wheel and was driving my 1988 Toyota Corolla, 5 speed standard transmission, front wheel drive hatchback.  I was riding shotgun.  He headed up the paved road to the mountain.  We should have been alerted or alarmed by mud washing across the pavement in places.but apparently we didn't notice.

Now - you need to realize that the Corolla, with either Adam or his twin brother Matt, driving, carried with it a subversive, secretive "Fight Club"like reputation that included phrases such as "it jumped from..." and "we four wheeled..." spoken in a whisper anytime I was around and included at a minimum, three wide eyed cousins who had seen their short preteen lives flash before their eyes when they "ran to the store" in the Corolla with their older, daring, teenage cousins, Adam and/or Matt.

So Adam heads up the mountain where the pavement soon ends.  We slogged our way through two switchbacks carved into the side of mountain.  The road surface was a 12 inch deep, soggy, slippery clay.  In an attempt to lighten the load, when it became clear that forward progress was stopped, he ordered me out of the car onto the muddy road to see if that would help.  It did not help and only succeeded in covering my then 32 hour old pair of white, leather Adidas sneakers with said mud.  I got back in the car, bringing with me 9 pounds of wet clay, and we sat there for a few minutes.  I went on and on about how we needed to get out and walk down while it was still light so we could call fro a ride and an unlikely tow.

Blah, blah, blah, BLAH is I'm sure what Adam heard - like Charlie Brown's mother's voice - yeah just like that..

Suddenly he says, "Mom!  Hold on!" which I think means he wants me to stop talking but that he means literally and he instantly starts back down the mountainside road as fast as the car will go in reverse.  I don't know what I said but I'm sure there was some kind of protest.  He reached the upper switchback and did some crazy, ass, double clutch, shifting kind of nonsense and some-freakin-how spins the car 180 degrees so we were now pointed downhill.  Then he calmly shifted into first gear and drives back down the slippery mountain road.

Back on the pavement I yelled at him the rest of the way home about how absolutely fucking, stupid and dangerous that was.  It was just a miracle that we didn't slide into or slide off the side of the mountain.  But inside I'm like "Daham! Now that's badass driving!"  He didn't stop grinning the whole rest of the visit.

Here's a picture of a 1988 Toyota Corolla.  Mine was white with "Toyota" stenciled in large, blue letters on each side.

And here is Adam driving.  He was out of the Navy when this picture was taken.  I don't think he would have been sporting those sideburns while enlisted.

 

 

Peace be with you and all that jazz.

 

 

 

Copyright - (c) - Chardale Irvine - 2012.  All rights reserved.  This article may not be republshed or reprinted without the express, written consent of Chardale Irvine.  Thank you.

 

A Grandma's Mission Too See Her Grandbabies

I am at the end of an amazing journey to the mountains and high plains of America. I have driven over 3300 miles through Colorado, Wyoming, Utah and Kansas on this mission to meet my new grandbabies and see my older ones. My rental car, which I got through Enterprise Car Rental at the Denver International Airport, is a Kia Soul, the hamster car from the commercials on TV. It is a rockin', cool car, handled great on the bad roads and bad weather which Wyoming, Colorado and Kansas threw at me (snow, blowing snow, ice, black ice, ground blizzards, high winds, road closures, accident delays, rain). It has excellent Bluetooth and a kickass stereo.

I saw Shane, aged 10 (son of Adam Mackley) first.  He has been my training grandkid.  He has been spoiled in ways the other ones won't be just because he was the only grandkid for 7 years.  I still didn't see near enough of him but the time we have spent together has been of the high quality kind.  He taught me that hotel swimming pools are a must for visiting grandparents who you don't know very well.  The water quickly washes away any insecurities or discomfort from not knowing each other very well.  Nervous with each other when we entered the pool - old buds by the time we climb out exhausted and hungry. We swam in the hotel pool, made finger puppets to put on shows for his new sister Cadence and made microwave cake in the room microwave. He loves his Ipod and sending and receiving emails. He is doing long division in school right now.

I also met Shane's new sister Cadence for the first time.  She was born on Halloween 2011. She wasn't too thrilled with having to deal with the new scary, lady who kept trying to hold her. But I didn't give up and held her even though she cried for her daddy. She is very opinionated even at this early stage but lights up the room when she blesses you with a smile.  She looks just like her dad and has the longest, curliest hair I have ever seen on a baby. I felt very blessed to be able to go the the doctor with her, her dad, her dad's attorney and girlfriend Mary Anne Ellis, Cadence's mom Adrian, her other grandma Shannon, and her Aunt Sherone (my sister). It felt like she had a whole army of people ready to stand behind her on her journey.

Henry is 3 now (son of Kaycee Mackley).  I spent lots of time with him until he was just under a year and then we hit the road in the RV.  I have only been back one other time but he still remembered me.  His mom does a good job of telling him about his grandparents so even though he was a little shy at first he warmed right up. He even snuggled with me the first two nights, a rare treat for a not-so-present grandma. His mom was kind enough to let me sleep on her comfy bed and I brought a blow-up mattress for her to sleep on, which we filled with air from a pump and set up in her living/dining room. Henry was certain I brought it to be his own indoor trampoline and you can see from the video that he made good use of it for that purpose. He loves his new school and is really descriptive when telling you what he did at the end of the day, though you have to listen very closely because he tells it in almost a whisper. He loves Spider Man and Wonder Pets.

Next came Memphis who is 21 months old (son of Matt & Kelsey Mackley). I had seen and held Memphis only briefly at my mom's funeral in September of 2010. He was just about 3 months old at the time. Now I finally was able to spend some time with him and watch him toddle, climb, play, sing, and throw things.  He has quite the arm for such a little tyke.  He is very tall for his age and is the spitting image of his dad except he has blond hair and his dad's hair is brown. He is generally a pretty laid back kid so his parents thought they could handle another and are pregnant again - Kelsey is due in October 2012! Memphis jabbers constantly, most of which I couldn't understand but that didn't stop him from conversing with me. He gives easy and open hugs and is generally pretty comfortable with people.  I definately was not scary to him. He is in constant motion at his age, except when a commercial comes on TV that has music in it - then he becomes mesmerized.

                                                                                                 Ultrasound 8 wk - newest Mackley

Finally, I drove across the endless plains to Junction City, KS to meet Logan aged 21 months (son of Amanda - my stepdaughter and her husband Brandon Falso). I haven't spent much time with Amanda and Brandon since I got married to her dad 9 years ago so I was a little nervous. I was nervous for no reason though. I was welcomed into their home with open arms and even Logan was climbing all over me in about half an hour. He shared all his toys with me and we played with the cars and the balls mostly. He has a little Leapster computer that he just loves. He fell asleep on the chair with his hand still on the keyboard - uh kinda like his Grandpa Walt really. He's a busy kid, constantly on the move and very opinionated. He's a grazer with food because he's just too busy to really stop and eat a meal.  He really gives his mom and dad a run for their money. I got to accompany Amanda and Logan to the hospital for an attempted barium swallow for Logan.  It didn't work because he wasn't too interested in swallowing icky gunk while lying down. It did feel good to be able to be there and support Amanda.

And lastly, to my surprise I met my friend Eric's roommate's cat Louie. I found out that meeting new cats is pretty darned similar to meeting new babies.  You just walk in a room and sit down and pretend like you are ignoring them but be holding their toy or a treat. Within 20 minutes their curiousity will have overwhelmed them and they will be over checking you out. Such was the case with Louie - a big, beautiful 13 lb striped cat, playful as can be. I didn't get a video or picture of Louie so you'll just have to take my word for it.

Copyright 2012 - Chardale Irvine.  You may not publish or reprint this article without the permission of Chardale Irvine.  Thank you.